The Best Way I Know to Get to Know Someone

There's a particular kind of nervousness that comes with sharing something you love with someone new — a book, a song, a place you go to think. Coffee has always been that thing for me. I want people to taste what I taste, but more than that, I want to learn what they taste, because it tells me something true about them that small talk never quite gets to.

This is the real reason I've always loved starting a new relationship — a friendship, a partnership, even a conversation with a stranger at a farmer's market — over something warm in a cup. There's no performance in it. You're just two people, quiet for a second, paying attention to the same small thing at the same time. What someone reaches for first tells you more than an hour of conversation sometimes will. Do they go straight for the darkest roast on the table? Do they hesitate, then choose the one that smells like something from home? I've learned entire personalities this way, one cup at a time.

It's part of why I was so glad we finally put together our Coffee Discovery Sampler — six 2oz bags, enough to actually sit with each one instead of guessing from a single cup. I didn't build it to be efficient. I built it because I wanted a way to hand someone six small doors and let them decide which one to walk through first. It's become one of my favorite things to bring when I'm getting to know someone new — a neighbor, a friend of a friend, someone I only know so far from a few kind messages back and forth. You brew a little of each together, you talk about nothing important, and somehow that turns into talking about everything that matters.

I think most real relationships start this way — not with a grand gesture, but with something small and shared, repeated often enough that it becomes a habit, and then a bond. A second cup poured without being asked. A bag of tea kept on hand because you remembered someone's favorite. Six small bags of coffee, so a new friend doesn't have to guess what draws them in — they get to actually find out, right in front of you, while you're both paying attention.

Gia and I built GiaNina on that same idea, from opposite sides of the world, long before either of us expected it to become anything at all — that the smallest gestures, repeated with care, are what actually hold people together. Every person who reaches for a cup here matters to us not because of what they order, but simply because they showed up. Belonging comes before becoming, and I think that's true of every good relationship I've ever had — you're welcome at the table before you've proven anything at all.

So if you're looking for a small way to get to know someone better this week — or to let them get to know you — maybe start there. Put the kettle on, set out a few small bags, and see what they reach for first.

Choose to be kind. Choose to be grateful. Choose to be happy.

— Nina of GiaNina Collective